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true or false, socially acceptable-posting condolences

October 1, 2017 | by joywirta

Yes, I will say it has been a while, I personally have missed my blogging. It actually becomes an extension of my thought process, like today’s post. Enjoy

Social Media has become a part of who we are, an extension of ourselves, possibly a little too much at times. As I sit at a restaurant having dinner recently, look around and almost everyone is playing on a phone, it makes me wonder. We use social media as a way to stay contented to be part of: family, friends, peer groups, even some use it negatively and irresponsibly. Regardless there are very few if us that do not have a Facebook page, Instagram, Twitter, or use it for business reasons like LinkedIn, myself included.

Social Media has itself received a lot of negativity in recent months, in respect to posting pictures – of life altering events, such as car crashes, accidents, hell even a recently deceased individual. Authorities are asking society as a whole to think before they “Post”. I question this one as really, they need to ask?

So lets up the scale a bit….

Condolences  – Hey I am the first to offer my condolences, my sympathy, when a family member, friend, or associate has lost a loved one.  But a recent conversation made me think. Is it the right thing to do? Would it actually be so difficult for me to pick up the phone or maybe a dessert, make a call or drop in? So question True or False….Have we possibly evolved in such a way that we forgot about human contact, emotions, where a hug goes a long way? Or a tear or two?

So lets move the scale a little higher….

Now lets proceed a little further in our thoughts, and take into account how fast news travel, and how a few words ” I am so sorry” could impact a family whom, may not even had gotten notification as of yet. Personally, I truly believe that NO one should get notification of a death on social media. What if not all next of kin had been notified, what if it were you?

Truly we all forget ourselves, we’re in the moment, “How sad” we offer our prayers and thoughts. I recently did this myself, without even a thought, seen a FB post, through extended family and offered my condolences. A family member whom I spent many of my early years enjoying our antics. Would it have been so difficult for me to pick up the phone, make a call, and shed a few tears? False.

Please no judging, I am not judging social media, I am not stating never offer our condolences on social media, no need to ruffle our feathers. For myself, I took the conversation seriously, from someone whom, had the experience, got notification from an inappropriate source. Personally maybe the best advice yet, wait till public notification has been made, Obituary has been released, Funeral Home has made public knowledge, it may be the safer route. Better yet, make a call, drop a card, and a hug goes a long way. Till next time…..




Joy Wirta

Owner of Dragonfly

Joy Wirta is a lifetime resident of the Sudbury Area, where she was born and raised her family. She has been involved as a volunteer for over 20 years serving on many committees and boards across the region.

Employed with over a decade of service with Canada Revenue Agency, she holds to great value confidentiality and privacy.

After dealing with personal losses herself, she recognized a need for a support program within our community to deal with the affairs after a family has said their final goodbyes.