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HOLIDAYS AND DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE


Dealing with a loved one’s death is difficult. Celebrating the holidays after a loss can hold its own special challenges. Our family and friends add joy and warmth to regular holiday celebrations, but when someone we love dies, holidays can feel quite different and overwhelming.

LIFE, DEATH & CHOICES


When life hangs in the balance we often associate choice with maybe our physician, EMS, 911 operator.Most of us hope never to have to be in the position where our life hangs in the balance.Usually the pattern we have chosen in life is often the choosing will in death.

TRUE or FALSE, SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE CONDOLENCES


Social Media has itself received a lot of negativity in recent months, in respect to posting pictures – of life altering events, such as car crashes, accidents, hell even a recently deceased individual. Authorities are asking society as a whole to think before they “Post”.

WATER BUGS AND DRAGONFLIES


There are so many sites now about grief and the journey, it is astronomical. OKAY. maybe the distance between the centre of the earth and sun is a bit far fetched, but you get the idea. One of my favorites, with exception to my own.. for obvious reasons is, Chasing Dragonflies a blog with wordpress.com.

THE HIDDEN GRIEF


I have kept this blog of loss, grief and what to do next till this Sunday Share for a very good reason, as my milestone birthday comes in a couple days and I turn 50, it also brings to light a different form of grief, “The Hidden Grief”. You see for those readers that do not know this, I was adopted.

THE NEW YOU


Each and everyone one of us change after a death, especially if it is a close loved one. What we do with our grief is what makes us individuals.

THE BALANCING ACT, CENTRE STAGE AT THE CIRCUS……


Circus is a company of performers who put on diverse entertainment shows that include clowns, acrobats, trained animals, trapeze acts, musicians, dancers, jugglers, magicians, unicyclists, as well as other object manipulation and stunt-oriented artists. Lately this is my life, except for the trapeze act and dancers, it is pretty much covered.

SUPPORT GROUPS, FRIENDS AND FINE WINE…FOR YOU MOM


Of lately, I have noticed a lot of programs coming together to support loved ones after a loss. AWESOME! There was a time I remember when there was maybe one or two in a community that was a “Grief or Bereavement “Group, and many times it was in a church or hall basement. That was how it was for me 10 years ago this week.

IT’S NEVER EASY…..


Someone passes away, dies, and all of a sudden you are in a vortex going in a straight line one moment and curving the next. You’re standing still, and life around you is moving forward. It’s never easy, and seldom are we prepared.

I QUIT !


When do we call it quits?Have you ever questioned yourself? Wondered if you have had enough? Thought to yourself can I take anymore? I think at some point in life, we all have, each and everyone of us have reached our wits end, thinking enough is enough.

KARMA “WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND”


People never cease to amaze me, some are genuinely caring, compassionate, empathetic, and all round beautiful souls, while others do not let me go there, you can imagine what I am thinking. It could be that I am starting to see the true colours in individual’s personalities.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


From the song “The Story” the lyrics go like this: ” All those lines across my face, Tell you the story of who I am, so many stories of where I’ve been, and how I got to where I am, but those stories do not mean anything. When you’ve got no one to tell them to, It is true I was made for you.”

TROUBLE IS YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD MORE TIME…


If you have ever heard the song “Time” from Dean Broady, like me, you most likely heard the verse “trouble is you thought you had more time” then you continued to listen to the words, and like me again, you are trying to hold back the tears, or heck maybe you let them roll.

DOES AGE MATTER…YOUNG OR OLD…..


Many of us, not all, but I can guarantee some individuals when we are going through the Sunday paper and are checking out the obituaries, to see if anyone we know may have passed away recently. I find that we often ask “How old were they?” like it makes a difference…. Does it?

JOINING THE DIALOGUE


For myself and please remember that this is my personal journey and my opinions alone, I am constantly educating myself with grief and loss.So I often find myself seeking information and discussions that are structured around death.

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS


If you read the blogs from the start you will remember that I mentioned I would express my thoughts and travels of my new journey. So today is a bit off track from my usual grief and loss notations.

PROVIDE ONGOING SUPPORT


You know how we all say “Sometimes looks can be deceiving” well guess what, the same runs with grief. It may be hard to believe but grief often takes time, it may be months or even years, but I promise you it is a lot longer than most families think.

ROLLER COASTER EFFECT


It’s like riding a roller coaster, some days you are up and some days you are down. We very seldom knows what is beyond the bend, unless of course you rode on this ride before.

DRAGONFLY SYMBOLIC OR MYSTICAL


I was asked this week a curious question “why dragonfly?” when I was choosing a name for my business.It never once occurred to me that my personal story about the name might interest someone, but it did so I began the story…

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME…..


One thing that is for certain, when you are caring for an ailing family member, palliative care, or long-term illness, finding time for yourself is virtually impossible. Everyone tells us constantly to make time for yourself, do not burden yourself, and ask for help if you need it.

TAKE TIME AND REFLECT


It is difficult at times, to try and remember the “good times” without thinking of the “bad times”. I find that no matter how many years past, we find ourselves thinking back and reflecting on what has been, but wishing for what could have been, and then the tears start to roll.

“FRIEND”, “FOE” OR “FAMILY”


Life sometimes does not make sense, all of a sudden you are on top of the world, and in the next minute it is all going to shit. It often happens so fast you did not see it coming, like the tsunami hitting the shore.

THE RIGHT THING TO SAY….


As I grow with my new journey with Dragonfly Advisory Services (DAS ), I have had many conversations with individuals who have just lost a loved one. Even though I have felt the same emotions as they have maybe not necessarily on the same scale, “I Get It” and I even sometimes am not sure what to say.

THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF, WILL I GET ACCEPTANCE?


There are some great books today that deal with grief and losing a loved one. One of my favorites is “Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief” by Martha Whitmore Hickman. There are so many popular books you often wonder where do I start to read?

“IT GETS EASIER” OR DOES IT?


Recently I found that whenever you meet someone and they are having trouble moving forward, maybe a first holiday after a loss you often hear “It gets easier”. I often want to say “really?” or “says who?”. Maybe that’s a little sarcastic I know but it is the truth.

THOSE FIRSTS VS THE SPECIAL


The one thing I love about blogs is the honesty factor, it is like writing in my diary as a teenager, except now I do not have to hide it under my bed from my sister, but expose it for all to read! As the days follow after a loved one dies, I find I often heard from friends and family was that old saying “the first holidays are always the hardest” maybe, maybe not.

FIRST TIME


So today is my first time-BLOGGING! So be patient it may take me a few time to get it… Many have asked me why did I start “Dragonfly Advisory Services”? I have a pensionable job, close to retirement, why do it? Well here is your answer… A loss of a love one SUCKS!!!